The last few years have been a journey, but I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned that God’s grace is irrevocable and immeasurable. He is so great. What started as a seemingly small change powerfully turned into a new life.

It all started with submission and I would even say some desperation. I have no other words for it. My heart is desperate for God. I need Him like a fish needs water and nothing else can have that place. I love this love.

I can do anything. I have the gift of being able to make things happen. It’s a creative gift that shows up in dance, film, business, etc. I literally feel like I could do anything and make anything, however I’ve learned that I shouldn’t just do everything.

Everything I do should be in submission to God. He gave me the gift not so that I can bring into fruition whatever I want. It’s so that when He gives me instructions I don’t have to be fearful. I can trust the capability that He gave me, but that trust does not go pass the absolute trust that I have in Him. Meaning I trust my gift but I trust Him more so if He’s giving me something to do it’s because He knows I can do it and He knows that I will lean on Him.

I’ve also learned I can only do so much by myself. I am limited. It’s not my vision to push by myself and do by myself. That self work has a lot of feelings attached to it. It’s prideful, it’s selfish, it’s scared, it’s weak. It’s like when you accomplish things by yourself, it feels a little better because it’s like “Look what I did and I did it without any help too!” That’s so prideful. Or it’s being afraid to ask for help at risk of rejection. Or it’s not trusting others with the ability to help. It’s all wrong. People are so important and yes I have been let down before but I trust God to bring the right people into my life. I trust that God will help me help people. I trust that God will give me the instructions to give to others.

You can only get so far on your own ideas. Be patient. Be vigilant. Be selfless. Be mindful of others in all seasons.

I’m getting to the next part of more visual fruits but I had to be checked at the door. I trust God and I trust myself. That was difficult previously and warranted because I was not trustworthy. But even then God found and finds me fit to be worked on in preparation of His work.

There is nothing more important than Jesus and that love cannot be faked. It can’t be forced into a business that boasts His name when you bare no fruit. You can’t just make stuff and claim that it’s serving the Lord when in reality there is no sustenance. I don’t believe a lot of the things that I’ve done are wrong because they are wrong; the makeup business, videography, JKM, OLLC. The whole process was messed up because I was not right.

So I release control. I submit openly to the Father. I’m listening to be obedient. I’m planning. I’m writing things down. Cause at the end of the day it is not about me. There are souls that need saving. There are believers who need help, community, resources, etc.

Jesus be glorified forever